Humans only have one ending

I finally saw the Barbie movie.

It was just as entertaining as I thought it'd be. Margot Robbie, Ryan Gosling and (yay!!) Simu Liu were spot on as what I expected Barbie, Ken, and.. Asian Ken to be.

But the reason I ended up LOVING the movie was because of America Ferrera. Her character Gloria gave spine to the movie as a mom navigating a rift in her relationship with her daughter, driving Barbie toward her transformation.

Not to give it all away, because I'm sure you're now running to see it if you haven't already watched it! Ha. I'll just say...

I laughed, I cried, I found it smart and dumb in all the right ways (read: Will Ferrell), and its parodies, cultural references and portrayal of the female experience illuminating, intellectual and brilliantly funny. The casting was impeccable (especially Asian Ken, Gloria and Weird Barbie!) and key moments were deeply, hilariously memorable.

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Here are a few lessons from Barbie I loved, through the iconic lines through which they were delivered:
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"Humans have one ending"

The ghost of Ruth (Handler, creator of the Barbie doll) speaks to Barbie in one of the final scenes, as she nudges Barbie to feel an array of human emotions and understand that humans are mortal. She says, "Humans have one ending" and in that moment Barbie realizes she doesn't want to be someone else's idea anymore. She wants to be the one who does the imagining.

I love this. And I love this for you: that you don't have to fit into someone else's idea, project or creation. Told to want an orchestra or teaching job? Nope! YOU can be the one creating, building, imagining and bringing ideas to life! What is it that you dream of making and putting out into the world? And yes, it can/ should be a combination of many things.

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"Ken. Is. Me"

For almost two hours we watch Ken (Ryan Gosling), Barbie's spray-tanned and underwhelming boyfriend, struggle through an existential crisis ("I don't know who I am without you Barbie"). After Ken's short-lived simulation of Real World Patriarchy, Barbie tells him, "You have to find out who you are without me", emphasizing "You’re not your girlfriend. You’re not your house. You’re not your mink. Nope, you're not even beach."

This question of who am I? is one we've all struggled with! It's easy to equate our identity with expectations (we, our family, our teachers, or our institutions) place on us. But digging deeper to uncover who you are in your heart of hearts can help you feel whole and grounded, or as Ken says "Kenough".

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"It is literally impossible to be a woman."

Holy cow - this was good. I wish I could put the whole monologue that Gloria powerfully delivers. It hits on the twin tightrope that all people walk. A snippet:

 "It's literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.... “You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people... You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood."

What tightropes do you walk? Your inner and outer worlds can be terribly incongruous - not to mention simply your thoughts, actions, and words. The way through this? Stop worrying if other people like you or not - it will box you in. On stage and off! You've got to accept yourself, flaws and all, despite the messages society sends you. Stay connected to the inner still self, the one grounded in the knowing of who you are! Lean into that and play big!

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So, yes, go see Barbie. If you haven't already. Go for the laughs and eye rolls, for the Ken fight, to experience Greta Gerwig's exceptional screenwriting, and how Barbie and Gloria's connection empowered both to see their truth.

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❤️

Ixi